Never Meant to Last
by p0tt3rh3ad
Summary: She promised things would work out in the very end. He promised that once she... Once she didn't remember him he would always love her. Finally like a knife stabbing him through the heart she did what he was too weak to do and broke the silence. Her words were those of affection, but he knew that once the silence broke reality would set in. "Please, Draco. Please look at me."
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot :)**_

_**This Fanfiction is in dedication to my best friend. I never met her but I've known her for 6 years. We were online friends and facebook friends. We have skyped and I've skyped her parents and vice versa. She was going through some hard times down in Texas. I was just informed she had comit suicide. Rest In Piece baby girl this Dramione is for you. I know you always asked me to write one. I'm sorry I have waited so long. I love you girl forever. I'm so sorry we never got to meet. We were always planning on it. **_

_**I'm sorry for that but anyways here's the DRAMIONE**_

Through the rubble and destruction there was only one thing on the irrevocably driven blonde wizard as he ran like he never had before in his life. It had all gone on too long. The inevitable was among them and he knew exactly what had to be done so he ran he would find her there was no question about what they had to do.

The sickening taste of iron dripping into his mouth from a gash in his forehead. The taste was so familiar it made his stomach churn. His feet were aching from all the running as he did what he knew he had to. The room of requirement he just had to make it to that bloody room.

He felt the his muscles tensing each time his foot hit the ground at a record breaking speed. All this physical pain he could bare with. But the psychological pain of what was about to change was too much for him to handle. So he focused on the burning aches of his feet. The dripping blood and throbbing of his wounds.

He arrived and walked in looking at the floor boards so he wouldn't have to see her standing there. Wouldn't have to see her face just yet.

He would delay it as long as humanely possible. For the alternative lead to much more tears than were necessary.

Four bodies laid on the floor seemingly unconscious. She had already done it. He was supposed to assist that part, but he was late.

He was always too late.

"I was so worried. I'm so happy you're okay." He voice cracked halfway through he could tell by the sheer distressful tone that her once jovial voice took. He could tell by the squeaking octaves of that beautiful voice. Suddenly flashes of such a gorgeous face being in such a desperate state were in his mind. He didn't want to see it. He turned around and choked back the tears for now.

"I'm sorry I caused such a worry, love." He tried to speak rough and emotionless, but knew oh too well she wouldn't by it.

His flesh began to burn as he felt her touch. Small dainty hands wrapped around his middle. A head rest upon his back just below his right shoulder. Her hand brushed his slightly. Her hands not quite able to reach completely around his.

The small part where her hand met his burned with a longing desire. He stared at that petite hand so pale, but a slight shade darker than his own impeccably pale tone.

Silently he felt all the words she was aching to say. Everything there were never able to say. The life that neither of them would ever have together.

Their brilliant talented children running through the manor. Her finally filling it with life and happiness. That cold placing not only filled but overflowing with warmth and love that she radiated.

A life he doesn't deserve was nice to imagine, but he knew it was impractical to imagine things at a moment like this.

Who was he kidding? They were doomed from the start. Both of them knew it. It was all but a matter of time.

"How long ago did you obliviate them." HE asked in the same fake tone as before.

"Only a few moments before you walked in. Harry Ronald and myself were able to knock out Crabbe and Goyle. Then when I had to take down Harry and Ronald that proved more difficult. Once it was done I obligated them all and waited a few moments for you to come."

"And you replaced all of their Memories? So they'll never know about us? They'll just think that Crabbe Goyle and myself are… well bad. I mean we are bad, but they'll despise us so much and think there is only evil in our souls. They'll hate us beyond forgiveness?" He asked closing his silver eyes shut and folded his lips in. Not yet. He couldn't cry just yet.

He felt her shudder as her grip on him tightened she practically squeaked like a mouse as she barely got out the words, "I did what was needed to be done."

The dark cloud that was silence enveloped them in a blanket of despair. Neither wanted to start what had to be done next. Neither wanting to admit the truth. Both willing time itself to pause for just a moment so they could for once be happy. For once things could be simple. Both yearning for it to just be him and her. Neither wanted to truth to exist in any form, especially reality.

However this was not the case. The situation would not change no matter how tightly she held onto him. No matter how much they wanted, it simply was not enough and both were smart enough to understand the disreputably clear fact that was they could not exist together.

If they were together one would undoubtedly die. It was an ultimatum. She once said she never wanted to live in a world that didn't hold him. This was true for him as well. However they would test to see if either could live in a world where they didn't love each other.

She promised things would work out in the very end. He promised that once she….. Once she didn't remember him he would always love her.

Finally like a knife stabbing him through the heart she didn't what he was too weak to do and broke the silence. Her words were those of affection, but he knew that once the silence broke reality would set in.

"Please, Draco. Please look at me." Her voice was begging him. How could he deny her this?

He turned with her arms still wrapped around his midsection. His eyes remaining close. He slowly opened them as the darkness disappeared all their surroundings were no more. There was only her staring up at him with red-rimmed wide brown eyes that were pouring with an ocean of tears.

Her usually bright always hopeful eyes glazed over with a pain he never thought would grace her beautiful features. He put on hand on the part of her face were her jaw line curved pushing the strands of hair that were matted to her face glued there with sweat and tears. He wiped her eyes and put his other hand on the opposite side of her face dying that eye as well. It was no use as they only kept emitting those dreaded droplets that emulated how much their situation was hurting her.

"Don't worry. It will go away soon. This pain. I'll fix it. I promise I'll make it better." He promised her as the same cursed tears began falling from his face. Not as vigorously, but they still fell slowly one by one leaving streaks as they fell. His voice finally cracking.

"I'd rather live with this hurt a thousand years than have to go on with this plan." She told him not able to look away from the heated glance of his steal eyes.

He leaned in overwhelmed with the emotion her eyes were giving him. How much those eyes could make him feel all at the same time. It always terrified him how she could do such things to him, but in this moment he'd rather have it every day than only for a few more minutes.

Leaning down he pressed his lips to her forehead then muttered almost inaudibly, "As do I Granger."

She pulled him tighter with her slender little hands as if they could possibly be any closer. Her face buried in his chest that was heavily breathing as he attempted keeping his sobs at bay.

Her voice was now in hysteria as she exclaimed her voice muffled by his clothing, "It's not bloody fair!"

He put his hands on the back of her head consolingly petting her bushy hair that was now splattered with the sweat and blood that came with a war. His chin resting on top of her tiny little head.

"It never is." The tears of his were now making her bushy hair damp.

She leaned back the slightest bit to look at him and he did the same looking down at her.

The girl who always gave off so much Hope and love. The girl who held a future of happiness for him. Now That small sliver of hope was pulled away from him.

Somewhere his father and other death eaters probably sat laughing at this. This act of Draco becoming a man of Draco being forced to marry another girl he despised after the war ends. This act of ripping him apart from the muggleborn girl he wants hated. Up until she punched him in the face when he was 13 he hated this girl. Then it all changed.

He was never before so sentimental, but now he'd never have a chance to be sentimental with her so now was as good a time as ever.

He slid a silver watch off his pale wrist. He pried her dainty hands apart from his middle and slid the watch onto hers. It was a tad too big for her, but it fit well enough to stay securely on.

"I'll put some memory of the oaf giving it to you." He said his words breaking his own soul as if the act of speaking them sent lashes from a whip down his back.

Drawing in a shaking breath Hermione argued, "But I never put that memory in Ronald."

"It's okay." Were the only words that he could muster to pass his lips.

They heard a loud explosion echoing from the outside of the room. That shook the whole building.

Before it was too late and one of them would have to give their lives they better get on with this.

He reached in his pocket where he placed his wand but her hand halted him.

No words were needed as he locked her gaze that look she always got taken over her features. He relished in the softness of her gaze at him.

The was she always looked at him right before she kissed him.

Her eyes that could pierce his soul glancing over him as if she saw the most purest flower in a garden. That look that can only be described as pure love. When she looked at him with such a softness he felt like he honestly could do anything in the world.

All the negative thoughts about how she would never look at him like this again evaded his mind for the effect this look had on him made him lighter than even air itself. His insides turning not into butterflies but an entire bloody zoo.

She slowly inched up on her tippy toes. Her soft tiny pink lips parting the slightest bit and her huge watchful eyes fluttering shut.

He leaned into her kiss meeting her lips softly at first. A quick breathless kiss.

Until She put her hand small and gentle, on his chest lightly at first then with a sudden burst of energy she took a fistful of his shirt pulling him into the kiss, practically plunging into the most heated movement of lips they ever had.

Her lips burned his in the most pleasurable way. They breathed out off their noses heavily not wanted to part and he slipped his tongue into her mouth and they fought for dominance of the kiss and she fought to get the battle of their tongues into his mouth instead of hers. Even how they kissed was an argument, a battle if you will.

Odd isn't it? How they fell in love in a battle, their relationship was a series of battles and arguments. But it was never supposed to end in a battle. This wasn't their battle to fight so why should the only thing he love be sacrificed in it? It wasn't fair to put it simply.

They both regrettably broke apart now more out of breath than they already were. Through her constant intake of large amounts of air as she filled her lungs with oxygen with great gasps she was able to speak a few words, "I-"Gasp "Love You." Gasp. "Draco Malfoy." Gasping and putting her head in his chest that was now soaked with her tears, "I love you so much Draco."

This time he was the one pulling her closer to him with shaking arms and reading the moment that was to come.

"I love you too, Hermione Granger." He said with a voice that was wavering with terror of losing her. His knees were too weak to stand and he fell to his knees. Hi hands on her waste as he irretrievably sobbing in front of her, but not for the first time.

She knelt down gently stroking his hair.

"It's time my love." She said softly to him no taking all the strength she ever had inside of her and attempting to give it all to him.

Without trying to hid his many tears he looked up at her and took out his wand.

"Close your eyes, love." He asked her.

She shook her head locking his gaze, "No I want to look at you this way as long as I possibly can."

He pointed the wand at her head and noticed her soft whispers that grew louder and louder with each passing phrase.

"I love you. I love you. I love you Draco. I Love you so much. This love is real. Part of me will always feel it. This cant be the end. Oh I love you."

Each word she spoke acting as a barrier for him. Like silent curses for him not to do what he was about to.

He fought for the one simple word to pass his lips. One word that would break everything he ever learned to love so much. The thing that would break him completely and utterly.

The wand aimed at his loves' temple and he fought for the word to pass his lips.

Finally he uttered it in a low grumble, "Obliviate." And suddenly she went silent. The girl once sitting on her knees fell completely to the floor her head landing in his lap and he choked on all the sobs in his throat.

Tears were like waterfalls falling from his silver eyes. He wasn't done yet. With his wand he replaced all their secret kissed all their love. Everything that ever made them love each other. Each secret glance. Each act of romance with shy glances at the buffoon. With love for someone else. HE replaced everything she ever felt for him with hatred, With despise.

Once the unholy act was done he held her unconscious body close to him and began to sob uncontrollably. Rocking her back and forth in his arms pleading to take back what he had just done. Yearning for someone to take away his memories.

How badly he wanted not to love her. He dreaded ever having to see her and have her not look at him again. He hated knowing that was the last time he'd ever here her say the three short words and give them actual meaning. She was the only one who ever put meaning to the word love. The only time he'd ever felt it.. Now she'd hate him She would be happy with the oaf. He put love in her life. He wanted her to be happy, but knew she couldn't find it with him. It was never meant to be. Never meant to last.

Now he would have to live with this everlasting torment. He'd have to live with this immense pain. She'd never know. She could never find out.

This would be his burden to carry. He glanced briefly at the watch on her wrist and felt a guilty ping in his chest.

He never put it in her mind that it was given to her by Weasley. He kept it as him. He put in the memory of the time he first fell in love with her in his 4th year. They were assigned as partners in Arithmancy class. They started off on the wrong foot, but after she cursed at him a few times and yelled at him something inside him clicked. He didn't hate her. She was the only one that could stand up to him really. Her right hook told him that. In reality he asked her on a date but in her mind he put in that he gave her the watch as a peace offering. Then he went back to despising her that was all.

Hopefully she would keep it never putting much thought into why she would keep it. He was selfish he knew. But maybe a little selfishness couldn't hurt in such a selfless moment.

At least she would be safe. At least she could be happy

**_A/N: Thoughts? Should I continue onto chapter two? I'm not a Huge Dramione shipper as previously stated. Let me know if you like it in the Reviews. _**


	2. 2 a year after

That war had ended nearly a year ago. The media practically embezzling that bloody golden trio. Draco's father sent off to Azkaban. His mother and himself left in the cold cruel place that was their Manor.

Briefly the thought of giving her back her memories crossed his mind. However, his father's close friend the Zabini's. Got off with a slap on the wrist. They will be monitoring him making sure he fulfills his duty. Marries the Astoria girl. Never talks to Hermione again.

He heard rumor she was going to work at the ministry. At first he debated what he would do. If he worked at the ministry he would have to see her each and every day. Like a steal knife through his chest with each glance she sent his way.

Then again not seeing her everyday was an even worse torture all in its own. He glorified her very presence.

He had not seen her yet since that fretful night. Since he held her in his arm as she lie unconscious and him crying more hysterically than he ever had before.

He only wished to see her. The gentle slope of her button nose. To see the part of her face where her perfectly pale skin curved at her slim jaw line. The dip of her throat. The smoothness of her collarbone. To compare her beautiful paleness to his sickly colored tone and actually think it was something beautiful in contrast. Yes. He wanted to see her. He would work at the ministry.

His mother asked him to pick up a book from the Diagon Alley. He obliged , it wasn't like he had anything else to do. He arrived at Flourish and Blot's walking up to ask the woman at the counter for assistance he saw her.

She was smiling like she never felt the pain of losing him. Smiling as though she never loved him. She was happily assisting and elderly woman behind her desk.

Once the woman was helped he was next.

She called him up and he froze not able to move.

She peered behind her desk and saw him she smiled brightly, "Draco Malfoy?" She smiled. She was supposed to hate him why would she smile.

She stood up and was approaching him. She looked exactly like she used to. She was perfectly happy. It's been a year and the sight of her made his heart throb uncontrollably.

"I haven't seen you since the battle…" She said smiling brightly as if they were long lost friends.

"I-I thought you worked for the ministry." He choked out the words.

"Oh I do. I only volunteer here sometimes usually Saturday mornings and Friday evenings. I heard you are going to start working with the ministry too. Perhaps we will see each other. " She was so nice to him.

"If It's alright to ask why are you being so kind to me?" He asked her cautiously. What if something went wrong? What if she remembers?

She pursed her lips as if she was seriously contemplating the question before beaming at him once more, "I get off here in 15 minutes how about after that we go to lunch?"

He was stuttering for a moment before he regrettably agreed to her. He wanted her to like him, he knew she had to hate him. But he was weak he hasn't seen her since that awful day. He wanted to be with her. Maybe when things were quiet and neither had anything to say he could pretend that they were still together. That the day never happened and they were on a regular outing.

It was a ridiculously selfish notion of course.

"In the meantime you cam here for a reason did you not? Could I help you with something?" She was perky as ever and he grinned, "Yes my mother sent me to pick up this book, er- broken means something can be fixed? I'm not sure who the author is or anything about it she said to pick it up for her."

She nodded and said, "Alright yes follow me I believe she would like the newest book they just came in today. They're selling pretty quickly." She led the way and he followed behind her.

She was searching the shelves and he watching her with a perplexed interest. It was so like her to volunteer at a book shop even though she had a fully functioning job. Part of him wondered when she ever had free time to spend with her friends… And Ronald. The vicious rumors of the press stating how much everyone loves this newly budding romance.

Hermione cut off all his thoughts when she spoke so softly and honestly, "Do you believe that?"

"What?"

"That if you say something is broken it only means that it can be fixed? Or do you believe if it's broken it has no hope."

"I think there's always hope. Whether or not it will become fixed depends on the circumstances and how strongly others feel about fixing whatever is broken. But there is always hope." He had no idea what she was getting at, but then again even when he was in love with her he could never understand what she really meant. She was a mystery. He used to tell himself she was the mystery that he'd spend forever solving. But forever never came. Forever ended that night. It will only hurt him more doting on these pointless memories.

She found the book and handed it to him and he caught glimpse of the silver watch on her wrist. She was wearing it still. Did she wear it everyday? Why would she wear such a thing and why the hell didn't she despise him.

He took the book from her dainty hand and she smiled at him. He couldn't muster up the courage to smile anymore. It was already too much.

"I can check you out too if you want. Won't have to wait in any bloody lines." he only nodded and followed her back to her tall desk. She sat up on a stool.

As she rang up the prices he took the time to appreciate how her hair fell in gentle curls just past her shoulders. Those slender pale shoulders that he once was able to call his own. He used to love kissing those very shoulders that probably now were caressed by the ginger oaf.

This beautiful girl was no longer his. Who was he kidding? He was lucky to have her briefly. He didn't deserve her forever.

"You're all set Draco. You know what wait right there I'll just leave with you now. No sense in having you wait."

"Won't you get in trouble if you leave early?"

"What will they do fire me? I work here for free on weekends I think I'll survive if they do ridiculously decide to fire me from my volunteer work." She chuckled then disappeared behind an employee only door. He let out a shaking breath he had no idea he was holding.

Suddenly she was back with a coat and purse in hand bright caramel eyes beaming at him.

That's when he noticed something was missing in her. He saw the façade in a smile that didn't meet her eyes. This was a good mask she was wearing, but in those eyes you can see someone who wasn't truly happy. It sickened him that he found relief in this observation.

Yes, he wanted her to be happy. However, he selfishly only wanted her to be able to be happy with him. Because he was miserable without her presence and as painful as these moments were today he also has never been happier in an entire year.

They walked silently and a year ago he would have taken her hand spun her once around and into his arms and laid chaste kiss to her lips and her cheek to her hand and then continue walking as if he hadn't. She'd blush and smack him upside the back of the head and call him a bloody tease.

He had no idea that his lips twisted upward at the corners of his mouth briefly until she questioned him, "What were you thinking about just now?"

"Why?" He asked consciously. Perhaps she could read his mind now. This theory made a lot of sense actually.

"because you almost looked happy." She stated simply.

"You don't think I'm happy?" He asked defensively. He thought he was putting up an okay front.

"I know you're not happy."

"Oh.." Was all he was able to say to the girl who was now intently watching his every move. Looking up at him with those big brown doe eyes of hers. The eyes that always searched for answers in a world that always gave her none.

"Why aren't you happy Draco?" She was being so bold. Then again that's how she always was. He remembered the day she told him she loved him.

She said it first they were in the library hiding in a corner it was her fifth year it was a year since their first date and she said, "I love you." Just like that said it then went back to doing her homework. He stammered out words of confusion, "I think I love you too." She shook her head at him and smiled, "No. You know you love me too. You're just a chicken." She told him giggling. It took him so off guard in that moment.

Draco shook off the memory. He looked her in the eyes for the first time in a year their intense stares met the others and she nearly gasped. This was all new to her. To him it was what he missed. The feeling of two intelligent glances had. The shuttering feeling that the other person can practically see into your very soul, "Well, I'll let you know why once you tell me."

"Tell you what might I ask?" She sounded breathless.

"Once you tell me why you aren't happy." He told her nonchalantly then looking away breaking the piercing gaze.

"What on earth would make you think I am unhappy?1" She asked as if he had offended her.

"I don't think it. I know it." He said rolling his eyes and smirking yet still avoiding her gaze which was probably exasperated in the moment.

She was so used to being the clever one. The insightful one. She wasn't used to another person who looked into detail. Wasn't used to another person who saw the world the way she did.

Truth be told he missed it. It has been a year since someone looked at him and could just feel that he wasn't okay. They could feel his insides slowly deteriorating. Only Hermione would use the term not happy. She had a way of making the most depressing situations hilarious.

"Lets eat here." He said in front of a random restaurant just so they could be rid of this conversation that brought up such convoluted memories.

She followed him in and they were seated.

The waitress asked for their drink orders and Draco only smirked he knew he shouldn't, but couldn't help seeing her reaction.

"I'll have a butterbeer, but sweetheart over there will have an iced tea please, preferably unsweetened. Thanks love." he sent the waitress a wink then began to scan the menu to see what he would want.

"I don't know who you think you are, but who are you to order my drink." She asked scowling at him. He hadn't seen a scowl like that since long over a year ago and he couldn't help but laugh. A real whole-hearted laugh.

"is something funny?" She asked holding the face.

"It's just… You haven't looked at me like that since Hogwarts. It's nice… Knowing some things will never change." He told her shrugging and looking back down at the menu.

"And some things do change. That's a nice notion as well." She murmured so quietly it could have been only to herself. He smirked at that.

"But in all honesty I'm sorry. If you want something else I could probably find the waitress." he said knowing all too well she would tell him it was fine. After their years together each time they went out she ordered the same exact drink. He had gotten into the habit of just ordering it for her and she'd claim she was an independent woman and sometimes she would order his drink for him to make him feel 'un-masculine' or some nonsense like that.

"No it's quite already. How did you know anyhow? What I wanted that is." She inquired.

He couldn't very well tell her that it was because he was in love with her and they have been together since their 4th year. But lies was one thing he fortunately excelled at.

"It's a talent of mine I can tell on the drop of a dime what anyone's drink is. I know I missed out on quite the successful career as a bartender." he said slyly and shrugging.

She chuckled and said, "Hardly, you're much too uptight."

His eyes went wide and he stared at her for quite some time before he nearly yelled, "HERMIONE BLOODY GRANGER! Hermione calling ME uptight?! What kind of bloody dimension have I traveled where Hermione talks to me civilly asks me to lunch then calls ME uptight."

All the while laughing and sipping the ice tea that finally arrived she said, "Why, Draco Malfoy are you insinuating that I am uptight?"

He shook his head with laughter, "I'm not insinuating anything, love. I am flat out telling you that your arse is uptight."

She barked put in a laughter that he could tell she hadn't laughed like that in a long time.

"Very well." She said once she calmed down from her explosion of laughter.

They ordered their food and finally he had to voice the question ringing the back of his mind.

"Hermione, why are you being so nice to me? Why'd you ask me to lunch. We were never exactly on friendly terms." he asked her honestly but avoiding looking at her altogether.

"You and your mother are going through a hard time I've noticed. Trying to recover from this war that you were on the wrong side of. I never thought you two were evil. I never even hated you, well up until 4th year I did. But after.. Well.. I just thought perhaps you needed a friend."

He thought she was done so he looked up at her and she was looking precariously at him and she continued, "I also thought perhaps I needed a friend too. .. I know what you are thinking I have Harry and all the Weasleys, but after I broke it off with Ronald they've been distancing themselves. I'm trying to grow up you understand? Forget the war and those we lost. They want to stay in their youth and pretend nothing happened pretend they can get by with pretending they still go to Hogwarts. Perhaps I'm jumping on the wagon too soon, but I'd do that than miss it altogether. Anyways… I've been alone lately and I saw you and realized you've probably been alone too. So despite our past I was hoping we could become friends. After all I do remember you were kind at times to me… At least once."

She broke up with him? But he was supposed to be her happiness. He can't become involved with er. He cannot do it. Don't look at her he reminded himself. No don't do it. Look away.

He lost. He glanced at her wide pleading doe eyes begging him for a friendship that he wasn't allowed to have with her.

Perhaps if he just found out why she was unhappy. Perhaps if he found out why she broke up with the ginger buffoon. Perhaps if he found out why she was still wearing that bloody watch he gave her. Maybe after he found those things out he could fix them. Fix her relationship with the idiot. Fix her happiness. Who would it hurt? He wasn't trying to make her fall in love with him again. He didn't want her to remember him again.

He wanted her life to be happy. So maybe if a friend was what she needed now. He could temporarily step in and fix her relations to the Potters and the Weasleys…. Surely that couldn't have any bad affect…

This is how he convinced himself to put on a painful smile and agree to being the petite bushy haired brown eyed girl's friend.

Deep down he knew it was an awful idea he knew it was going to cause him more pain in the end. It would lead to his heart aching more for her the more time they spent together. Each time she left where he wasn't able to lock lips in an embrace that they always used to share. Each time he looked into the eyes that used to hold love for him and see nothing for him it would be like a knife twisting in his heart.

But he didn't care. He needed her. Needed to see her. He needed her happiness. He needed her to smile. He needed her like a drug. In any form that he could have her in he would take it.

And so began their tragic love story a year after the end of their happy love story. Oh what a mistake it was for Draco to become her friend that brisk autumn afternoon in a dingy restaurant.

* * *

**_A/N: So how was this chapter two? Yes no maybe so? Please drop a review I really would like this story to pick up. _**


	3. Chapter 3

He sat behind his desk that was anything but organized. The room was only lit by a small candel and whatever light the moon was giving off through the small window. He would be able to go home in 45 minutes. He had nothing left to do which meant he should probably tidy up his monstrosity of a desk.

Or he could go visit his favorite little witch down the hall who always seemed to be working. On what he had no idea. How could one person work so hard all the time and never be done early?

After staring at his desk for a long minute he decided that he was in no hurry to clean it. It was his personal workspace after all. He could keep it however he pleased.

He stood up straightening his robes and he walked as dignified as he always did down the hall passing the many offices of wizards who were waiting to be relieved of their shifts. Until he came upon her door. Hermione J. Granger. The golden plaque read and he opened the door without knocking. She had her head rested on her hand and was feverously writing at an alarming speed. She didn't even looke up when she spoke.

"Excuse me I'm busy whatever it is can it wait sir?"

Draco laughed which caused her to look up and grin, "What are you doing here? Don't you work for at least another half hour?"

"What are you doing here haven't you been relieved an hour ago?"

She shook her head and set down her quill, "Well I had work that needed to be done."

"You can do it tomorrow. Go home Mione." He said sitting on the chair that was across from her desk.

She looked away from him and bit the inside of her cheek. There seemed to always be something in the way he thought.

Something between them, a desk, a spell or a threat for their lives. Something was always in the way of him grabbing her and snogging her senseless.

That's how it had to be though. He had gotten used to just being her friend the past 6 months. Since the moment he started working she had been nothing short of kind. Visiting him on lunch breaks with various kinds of food for them to later littler his office with.

In return for lunchtime companionship he would walk to her office each night and walk her home to the flat where she lived by herself.

She always claimed she stayed for work, but he had his suspicions.

When they were together she would always claim about how much she was afraid of growing up and being alone. That no one would ever stay there with her. That each night she would blow out the light and lay in a bed all alone. It pained him to think she still thought that way.

However, despite this fear she had left Ron to be alone. She was a tough one to crack. He still had received no answers from her about any of the questions burning his brain.

His gaze then dropped to her wrist to find the watch that she had not taken off since the moment her saw her in that bloody bookstore those months ago.

She smiled at him, a small simple smile that barely compared to the smile she used to have for him. Part of him hated himself for taking away such a brilliant smile.

Then the thought of no smile existing, no big brown doe eyes. Just a rotting body void of all life laying in a coffin under the ground. He knew that any smile, fake or not was better than the second image.

Sometimes he had to vividly imagine her graceful body decaying in that coffin to convince himself he could not be involved with her. It was a morbid sight that often brought tears to his eyes when he sat alone in his room, but without those images and thoughts he could do something incredibly stupid, like kiss her. Or perhaps even worse.

"Will you be walking me home again?" She asked without any trace of the timid quality she had the first time she asked him to walk her home.

"Of course, love." he told her just as simply.

He waited for her to organize her already color coded stack of papers and retrieve her jacket. However, she did not put on the jacket.

The air outside was warm it was a good day.

There were slight eminence left of a cold winter, but the trees were budding with small flowers and the ever slightest bit of green.

Some nights were warmer than others and surprisingly this was one of the warm nights.

They left the building and walked next to each other in silence before Draco looked up at the stars.

"I used to despise the constellations you know. Only because of the tradition my family had of naming their children after the stars. I hated stars as well. They were this unattainable burst of hope light years away. These beautiful light shining things that sat just out of your reach teasing you. Until you realize one day you'll never reach the them."

Hermione glanced up at the sky avoiding her gaze from Draco entirely, "You said you used to…What changed your mind?"

He smiled briefly as the memory overtook him, "Some bird."

She was studying him deeply now. This look he got at some moments was indescribable. Most of the time Draco kept up a placid front. Entirely emotionless to most. He was so good and being blatant she thought he must have been very well rehearsed,

She imagined him sitting in his cold empty room staring at the mirror forcing tears to stay in his eyes. Staring at himself training to become this robot like monster he was today.

Then there were moments like this. It was almost like he wasn't the same person. His eyes would glaze over, like a fog enveloping only him for just a brief moment in time the pain numbed slightly and he could almost let himself be happy.

What he thought of in these moments was the greatest mystery that she will never know. There were multiple instances where she asked him what he was thinking about and he'd always answer, "An old friend, Someone I lost, A girl, Some bird."

She racked her brain to remember a girl with this cold-hearted boy and came up with no answers to this riddle.

Who was special enough to break through such a solid wall he built around himself.

Despite her numerous failed attempts she had hope that he would one day find a trust in her. Let her console him from his loss that he seemed to never overcome.

"Tell me about her."

"Why?" He asked as he returned to his emotionless state looking at her with steel grey eyes that she felt could look into her very mind and see all her deepest thoughts.

"I want to know what girl was strong enough to knock down the wall you put in front of your emotions."

He shook his head with the tiniest trace of what could have been a grin, "She was strong yes, but she knew she couldn't knock down the wall. She was just smart enough to walk around it. After all it's just a wall not a room, one brick wall tall as the sky itself. She took the journey and walked around it."

She laughed at him, "I think I would have liked to meet such a girl."

He nodded and his face seemed to be in pain and she wondered if she said something wrong, "You're a lot alike I'll say that."

"Will you ever tell me about her. I mean actually talk about her."

He turned away from her altogether now unable to bare the sight of her. She cared so much about him, but not in the sense he longed for her to. Looking into those eyes and seeing nothing, but concern and friendship was almost torture for him at time. It was undoubtedly better than having her not look at him ever.

"No." Things were so simple with them now. One word responses would suffice. He wondered if she was mentally cursing him each time he said a one word answer. She used to despise it. She'd scream each time he used to do it.

It was a habit of Draco he was a man of few words. He had many talents but words were not one he possessed, but for her he tried. Very hard he'd try to come up with words to make her smile. To make her become overcome with those that when she looked at him her eyes began to literally sparkly with mirth.

He'd do anything to see her eyes like that even just once more. If she was his drug her eyes were his supplier and his words the money.

Finally she brought that back to the previous topic, "I like the stars. I believe the stars create stability. Although they are out of reach they give you a sense of stability. They prove that no matter how bad or god things will get the stars will always be there each and every night. They might leave for a while, but they'll always come back to welcome you home."

He almost cried right then and there as she spoke the exact same words as she did in their 6th year when they stared up at the sky from the Astronomy tower.

"yes." he choked out hoping she wouldn't recognize the quiver in his voice, "The stars are nice now."

He remembered the extra bit of words she spoke back in their 6th year which were, 'and no matter what happens to us. Whether we grow apart or not. Or if we are far apart from each other when you look to the sky you will know I'm out there somewhere under the same sky and looking up at the same stars.'

She was painfully good to him. She was painfully perfect. She was just painful altogether. Here she stood under the same sky, looking at the same stars. Saying the same words, but this time they had a different meaning. How cruel it was to be stuck on this side of her emotions. TO be trapped as this girls friend.

He was almost beginning to feel sorry for that oaf that was Ronald Weasley.

They reached her flat and he looked at her uncertainly.

"Would you like to come in for some tea? I'm not quite tired yet and I don't fancy being alone." She was nervous as she asked this which made him smile. At least he still made her the slightest bit nervous.

"I know." He told her as she opened the door for him to come in. She didn't question why he said that he knew. She didn't even register the words.

Sitting on her sofa he smiled at the muggle telly that was perched on a decorative stand.

She always tried to convince him to do and watch muggle things. Once and only one time he allowed her to take him out on a muggle date to a movie theater it was the best experience with anything muggle he ever had.

"Oh that's a telly you probably don't…." She started but he raised her hand to tell her to stop talking.

"I know what a telly is Hermione." And she laughed at him before retreating to her kitchen to make the tea.

Once she returned she turned on the telly and they began watching a movie he paid little attention to.

She changed into her pajamas grabbed a blanket and covered the two of them with it. Sitting precisely nexr to him she sipped her tea and curled up into what seemed to him like the most adorable little ball. She looked like a small child. She looked beautiful.

This is how he pictured them. Graduated and him living with her in their own flat after they both got home they'd sit watching the telly and sipping tea. Only in his fantasy they were both actual happy. In his fantasy she knew she was in love with him. In the fantasy he wasn't breaking any rules and their lives weren't at stake in his fantasy everything was okay.

However that is what makes it a fantasy. Nothing in Draco Malfoy's life was ever supposed to turn out the way he wanted. Anything that made him happy was never meant to last.

He watched her as her face fell slightly and she fought so she wouldn't fall onto his shoulder. Although they were under the same blanket and she was extremely close to him, so much so that he could smell the sweet enticing smell that could only be described as strictly Hermione. Despite all this she made effort not to touch him.

It seemed like her own exhaustion won the fight and her bushy head fell onto his shoulder.

He thought he imagined the sweet little inaudible intake of breath that could have been a sigh of contentment.

He questioned himself when she spoke in a groggily sleep ridden voice, "It scares me. That before I was never happy and didn't know why. It scared me that… when… when I'm with you. I think I might be happy?"

She said it like a question like she was just figuring it out in the purest moment. They were words that she kept locked in her mind most nights, however tonight she couldn't tonight she was much to tired to be so brilliant. Tonight she let it slip .She let those god forsaken words escape her perfect lips.

Once her breathing evened out and she was fast asleep on his shoulder her sighed deeply.

"I hate loving you so much Hermione Granger, I hate it." he said as the first tear since he was reunited with her a the bookstore fell onto her smooth pale face.

He should have just left. He should go home right now he shouldn't stay.

But he was much too tired. It was much too long since he was so close. It was much too long since something wasn't in their way.

So he put his legs on the sofa so he was lying down and maneuvered her so she was laying on top of him her head on his chest he put an arm around her and for the first time in a year he held her.

He fell asleep to the gentle rising and falling of her chest indicating she was alive and breathing.

When they woke it would be painful to explain .When they woke and he realized she wasn't his it would kill him. When he woke and she didn't kiss him good morning like his fantasy said she would, it would hurt.

But right now he could pretend that that wasn't the case that reality wasn't their reality that they fell asleep with each other under those damn bloody stars.

Tonight was not tomorrow. Tonight was good. Tonight he can pretend that he was happy, both of them could pretend to be happy lying wrapped up in one another's embrace

_**A/N: Hey, so I got 3 reviews on the story so far and I'm happy. It might not be a lot but every story has to start somewhere so thank you to those who had reviewed. And keep it up (: let me know if you have any comments ro anything along those lines. **_


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